Exhaustion

I'm tired. The kind of tired I didn't know I could be.

I forgot how tired I would be with a new baby. I forgot what the endless nights feel like. I really did forget. Last time around I was younger. I was 21, and all-nighters were something I was used to. The last couple of years my bedtime has steadily gotten earlier and earlier. Less than 8 hours of sleep and I'm a zombie. So this broken sleep thing is killing me.

I forgot how things like "alone time" go out the window. My alone time is stolen moments, usually in the bathroom. Sometimes I just sit in there and do nothing. Or read a book. Remember books?

Just over a week left until I go back to work. I'm starting to look forward to it. I love being home, and I love taking care of my kids full time, but I need to get back to work. I'm a much better mom when I work. I'm more patient with everyone. Plus I miss having something to talk to my husband about. When we're home together all day conversation is something that just doesn't happen. We talk about immediate needs of the kids, or what to have for dinner, but not a lot else. I miss having separate days and things to discuss at the end of them.

Oh exhaustion and boredom. Days and nights of sameness. Welcome to parenthood.